Yes, my mother and I converse in two different languages. What of it?

There was an interesting phenomenon that amazes my white friends when they came to our house.  The same phenomenon existed in the homes of my Croatian, Hungarian, German and Polish friends.

Our parents spoke their language to us and we spoke English back.  We still do it.  My mother and my sons do it to some extent.

This might have grown out of convenience or necessity, but what it did do is tune my brain to be able to understand Italian and English without having to translate what's being said.  It's so natural for many of us we don't even notice.

My friends would come into the house and watch these exchanges.

My francophone friends did not have this experience.  Perhaps it was because they went to French schools that French was their first language.  When they were together they spoke French.  (side note
... one of my favourite memories was playing football with them as a kid and they would say their plan in French or yell directions ... thinking we wouldn't understand. ha.)

What freaked people out was both the fact that we couldn't agree on a language and that it flowed so freely.  It even catches visitors from Italy by surprise.

But this communication anomaly was not contained to our individual homes.  No sir.  All of my Italian friends' moms spoke to me in Italian and I responded in English.  My mom did the same with my friends.  It was a well-oiled communication system that had no flaws.

BIG RULE.  My mom would do her best English if there were kids over who did not speak Italian.  It was considered very rude to speak Italian in front of people who did not speak Italian.  Some people do it, some need to, most do not.  If somebody in the group doesn't speak Italian, we tell my mom. (she thinks everybody understands Italian, even my dog).

Mom: Che cosa vuoi per pranzo?

Me: I don't care, mom, make what you want.

Mom: Che cosa hanno dicono I miei nipoti?

Me: They don't care either, mom.  They're hungry, they'll eat anything.

Mom: chi è questo ragazzo?

Me: One of Anthony's friend's.  He doesn't understand Italian.

Mom: Oh. OK.  How are you?  You gonna stay for lunch?

What were the unintended benefits of communicating this way?

• Our parents could still freely express themselves and be understood by us.
• We could freely express ourselves and be understood by them.  Most of us spoke Italian but English schools and friends brought the English to the forefront.
• I can "think" in two languages.  I am not sure if that's easy to explain, but I can.  
• I am able to understand most dialects because my Italian friends' parents were from all over Italy.   

Still to this day, after 50 years in Canada, I prefer my that mother speaks Italian so she can let loose and say what's on her mind.  My mother is hilarious in Italian, but hesitant in English.  My dad's English is stronger and I rarely hear him speak Italian.

It helps that we can understand because when my parents' friends come over they can settle into Italian and let 'er rip.

So, if you walk into a family-owned restaurant and hear the owner's family yakking away in two languages, it's not rare.  Only be alarmed if they speak two languages, look at you and then drop the English.